Panic

It’s common courtesy
When having a panic attack
To check everyone is fine to deal
With the aftermath
A quick heads up.
Disaster planning.
Alight here for self-destruction
And other harmful activities
It’s not that I’m anxious of
The tiny disruption I cause
It’s the cosmic insignificance
Being smaller than a quark
Still remembering to treat
Others with care
Even if it’s an empty gesture
From deep within the despair
It’s impossible to see
Beyond the empty space
Impulsive need to sabotage
The hapless animal in the cage
Darkness spreads through my pupils
Bleeding into the whites
Eyes that look infected
Vision losing sight
I feel nothing but the fear of death
Dragging me from this brief
Breath above the blackness
The act between two sleeps
Between something and nothing
Before the morphine eases pain
The dream of a hot, white light
Cools to blackness as it fades
For millennia the core spins
Till there’s nothing left
But a timeless return to the void
Space no longer bereft

Efft

The loudest voice eats all the words
Now there’s nothing left to breathe
So, silently, we all leave the room
Holding the courage to speak
In polite gasps for air
At the end of the street.
They don’t notice the effort it takes
To activate the on-switch
Internal processor whirring
It’s an old analog tape machine
Cutting and splicing phrases and
Looping the repetitive nods
Cyclical cylinders
Compressing far too much dust
It sticks gamely to the tubes
Till enough trapped air builds
The pressure to burst
Explosive relief of
An introverts scream
Destructive, unseen
Politely aggrieved